by Kei/Carnage

 Well  in  the last issue of The Word or at least the last few issues, I
mentioned  that at some point I'd be moving to Ipswich to start work for
a  rather  large  telecommunications  firm.  Here's what I've been up to
since last issue so long ago..

 During several weeks of conversation with 2 people I met at university,
we  decided  over  the  phone to meet at Ipswich University College on a
certain date at 10am.  Rather than setting off at 5am that morning, they
were  staying  at  a  mates  flat in London and were going to drive from
there  in the morning.  I contacted Kenco of Carnage who had since moved
back  home  to  the  village of Stamford just north of Peterborough.  It
turned  out  his  folks  were  away  and there would be no problem of me
staying  there  for  one  night  and travelling to Ipswich the following
morning.

 I  packed the minimum amount of stuff I would need to last me a week in
Ipswich.  This consisted of one bag with my clothes and gear in it and a
coolbox  full of food.  I left all of my computers behind which was hard
for  me  as  I'm a computer junkie.  All I took was my little electronic
organizer  which  I  take everywhere with me.  My organizer has saved my
arse  several  times  in  the  past.   The  last time was when I went to
Edinburgh  to see a girlfriend and we had a massive argument and we fell
out.   She  figured I'd spend the next few days kipping on her sofa with
her  telling me what to do in her flat untill it was time for me to head
back.  Fuck that.  I pulled out the organizer, dialled in the local area
code to locate my nearest contact, phoned him up and an hour later I was
on  my way to his digs!  She was non to impressed.  ;) I once worked out
that  within  the  UK,  I  have a contact within 30 miles of every major
city!

 So  here I was one morning loading my car up with my gear getting ready
for  a  very  long  drive  down  south.   I had only recently managed to
restore  my car to road worthiness after being off the road for the past
4  years  due  to lack of funds on my part.  I had also not driven for 4
years so the last 2 days after my car past it's MOT, I'd been practicing
driving.  It was like riding a bike only with more revs.

 My  car didn't have a radio aerial so I had to play music tapes all the
way  to  Stamford.  I got bored of Celine Dion and Subliminal so in went
some heavy metal and I began to pick up some speed.

 I  arrived  in  Stamford  making  good time only to get completly lost.
Kenco's  house  was  located  in  a little village called Ryhall and his
house  was  not  easy to find.  Once located though I woke the bugger up
and  we  unloaded  the  car,  grabbed  a  bite  to  eat  then booted the
playstation.

 I  better  take this opotunity to thank Kenco for his hospitality!  Let
me  know  when  your dad is bringing some more vidz back from Oman mate!
As soon as I get myself a PSX I'll get TR1 & 2 definetly!

 The  next  morning  I  found myself driving to Ipswich.  Not long after
passing  Cambridge  I realised I was running out of petrol.  My car only
has  a  small  tank  which  takes  about 23 quid to fill and will do 218
miles.   Ipswich  is  about  251 miles from Middlesbrough and that's not
counting getting lost in Stamford.
 My  car  does not have a reserve tank so when the needle is pointing at
empty,  find a petrol station now!  5 miles later and still no sign of a
petrol  station  so I pull off the A14 and head into the nearest village
only to drive out the other side after not seeing anything but cottages,
and  coming  back  out  onto the A14.  Just around the bend though was a
petrol station!  If I had only stayed on the road 30 seconds longer!

 I  arrived  at  the agreed location an hour late but so did the others.
We got a map of Ipswich town center from the college and went around the
estate agents looking for a place to live.
 After visiting several dumps we finally found one that suited our needs
but  it  was a half hour drive outside of Ipswich on the coast line in a
little village called Shotley.
 The estate agents said they would hurry the paperwork but it may take a
week.   The  B&B's were not cheap so one of the other guys had brought a
tent.   It  was  costing us 2quid each a night on a camp site but that's
what we did for several days.

 Work  proved  interesting  but we all signed a form saying we would not
discuss  what we do outside of work so all I can tell you is that I have
my  own  desk, computer, phone and the use of a group secretary who is a
very pretty 19 year old called Gemma.

 On  the 3rd day though tempers had started to threy between the 3 of us
camping  in  a tent.  We found that we were just not getting on.  On the
3rd night though it got worse and physical violence was threatened.  The
other 2 were bigger than me but younger being 20 and 21 and me being 24.
So when the biggest threatened to smash my face in he was a bit suprised
when  I  said  ok  let's  get this sorted right now.  He calmed down and
began to realise that if they alienated me from the group which they had
been  doing, they would end up having to pay my 3rd of the rent.  It was
too late though as I left that day after pulling out the organiser (once
more) and discovering a contact nearby.  A quick call ensured a floor to
kip on and a TV to watch which I was missing by now!
 We  decided  to  go  our  seperate  ways.   Those 2 would get the house
themselves  as the rent would only be 35 a week each now.  I headed over
to  my  contacts  house  (cheers to Chris, Richard and Adrian if you are
rading  this  on yer Amiga's!  I appreciated the floor space!).  After a
tour  of  Ipswich  I  finally found the house.  They let me crash on the
floor in the front room which wasn't being used anymore.  As they worked
at  the same place as me, offering them lifts in to work was the least I
could do for my new hosts.

 Over  the  next few days I had permission from my boss to take time out
whenever  I needed it to look for a place to live.  There were some real
expensive  dumps  in  Ipswich  I  can  tell you!  Ipswich is full of old
houses  being  an  old  town but these places were falling apart and the
renters were still asking 250 a month!
 I finally chose a place which was large at 225 a month but there was no
where  to  park  close  by  which  would  be a problem.  Before I signed
anything though I remebered I had one last place to see tomorrow which I
had  arranged  a  few days ago.  I went to see it at lunch time the next
day  and  immediately  wanted  it!   It was a recently built large house
split  into  4  flats.   Mine  would  be  the  second  floor front flat.
Basically  it was a small batchelor pad with a bedroom, bathroom, lounge
and kitchen complete with furniture, a new cooker and fridge.

 The paperwork was completed but I couldn't move in till next wedensday.
That weekend I travelled back to Middlesbrough with one of the guys from
the  house I was staying with.  He had offered to pay half the petrol if
I  took him and some of his possessions to Wakefield.  Earlier though we
had  had to call out the AA (which I had just joined) because my car was
leaking  petrol.   It  turned  out  that  the rubber hose connecting the
filler  pipe  to  the  petrol  tank had perished.  The AA guy siphoned a
gallon of petrol into a container which did the job temporarily.
 We  stopped  off and had a McDonald's meal at an all-night McDonalds in
Blyth  (I  think).  This was about midnight.  We didn't get to Wakefield
untill  1am.   From there I didn't get to my home until 3am.  I unloaded
my  gear from my car and then all I can remember is waking up at 7am.  I
was  lying  on my bed half undressed.  I must of being undressing when I
just  passed out asleep.  Adrian, the guy I had given a lift to had been
giving me coke and coffee all night as he was getting woried as I seemed
to  be drifting onto the hard shoulder a lot as he figured I was getting
to  tired.   He  offerd  to  let me kip at his house in Wakefield but my
folks were going away early the next morning for 2 weeks and I needed my
dad  to  give  me  a  hand with the petrol problem and an oil leak I was
having.   I  managed  to stay awake listing to DIO, Iron Maiden and Doro
Pesche.

 That  morning me and my dad went to a hose dealers and got the hose for
nothing  as  this  guy  sells  it  by the reel and the little cut-off we
neeeded wasn't worth the hassle of paperwork so he said.
 We  fixed the petrol problem.  The oil leak turned out to be not just a
new  oil filter seal but a CV joint problem as well.  That would have to
wait till next time.  They headed off on their holiday.

 They  had  left me 15 3hour videos to watch of stuff they had taped for
me.   Also  I  had to install a satellite system for my dad.  It took an
hour  to  get  the  satellite  system in and working and the rest of the
weekend  I spent packing and watching videos.  I only managed to watch 6
tapes.   The rest of the tapes I took with me as well as all my post and
50%  of  my gear as the rest would not fit in my car.  So I only had one
VCR, my A1200 and my laptop with me.

 The drive back was uneventfull apart from counting the road kill on the
A14 between Cambridge and Ipswich.  There was a lot.

 I  had  my  own  TV  with  me  this  time so I tuned it in to the local
frequencies  which  seemed  to  be at the opposite end of the range than
ours  in  Middlesbrough.   I  had been watching an old TV at my contacts
which had to be warmed up and tapped occasionaly.  I found Charlie Grace
on East Anglia to be interesting but it was the last episode.  ;( I must
point  out  however  that  I've been just about everywhere in the UK and
seen most ITV channels and Tyne Tees has to be the best.  East Anglia is
pretty sad to be honest.  Central and Meridian are better but Border and
Thames are worse.

 I  finally  moved  into  my flat.  I met my first neighbour who has the
flat  next  to  mine.   He talked for ages about the do's and donts.  It
turns  out  that  he is house proud.  This was confirmed as every time I
went  up  the  stairs carrying my gear from my car he followed me with a
dust pan and brush.  This was getting weird.

 I  spent the rest of that day cleaning and dusting and sorting my stuff
out.  The next day I went to work.

 Over  the  next  week I would get up, make breakfast and head into work
only  to  come  home  and  play  WORMS  DC  on my Amiga.  I had given my
contacts  my new address so all I could do was wait for some jiffies.  I
ran  in  to  my  neighbour  again  who informed me that the guy directly
beneath was an alcoholic and if people didn't put the "B" after my house
number, my mail would go to him and he would keep it as he is like that.
However he isn't around at present so my mail started coming in ok until
yesterday  when  a  redirected  package  from  my  home  address  had  a
suspicious slit in it's side.  According to my mam there was money in it
(for return postage) when she redirected it so someone has made off with
it.   Whether  it was a neighbour or postal worker I could'nt prove.  So
those  of  you  who  are  sending  to my address at present, well sealed
jiffies only!  NO envelopes and NO money!  Unless it's notes of course..
;)

 The TV is real boring especially East Anglia so I enquired about cable.
The  next  day  a  cable guy came around with some info on cable.  I had
only made a general enquiry but they were following it up.  It had to go
through  the  estate  agents.  They ok'd it and I got set a date for the
following wedensday.

 Living  at  home with your folks is a pretty easy life as I'm sure most
of  you  know.   However,  living  on  your own is a completly different
story.  I found though that I was starting to enjoy going shopping every
friday  at  the local supermarket.  Shopping is supposed to be a pain in
the  arse  but  I found it fun budgeting as best as I could while buying
food so I had more to spend when I reached the alcohol section.  Alcohol
these  days  is  so  exenpsive  don't  you think?  I made the mistake of
asking  a question on the companies USENET newsgroups.  The question was
"Is  there  a difference between north and south beers?".  I logged in 5
minutes  later  to  find  a  thread  of  100  messages  from my origonal
question!
 I  only  seem  to like expensive drinks.  I like guinness, Jack Daniels
No.7,  strong  Scottish/Irish  whisky,  Southern Comfort, Bailey's Irish
Cream  and  Becks Bier.  I think 15 quid or more for a bottle of JD is a
bit  much.   Anyone out there who can get it cheaper?  I know someone in
M'bro  who  can  get Famous Grouse at a fiver a bottle so I'm placing an
order asap.

 As  TV  was  boring I had gotten myself into the habbit of going to the
cinema  at  the weekends.  There is only the ODEON in Ipswich so there's
no  competition to bring prices down.  In M'bro it is 1.50 per film.  In
Ipswich  it  is  twice that at 3.00 and they don't do student discounts!
However  they do have free postcards and posters in the lobby so there's
some free jiffy junk in my carrier bag.

 Ever  been  to  York?   Well  if so you have an idea of what Ipswich is
like.  It's town center high street is pedestrian only.  It has a square
in  the  middle  where all the banks and building societies are based as
well  as  the  small market stands.  There are several shopping centres.
East  Gate  is  a small shopping centre with an indoor car boot sale for
some  reason.   Tower Ramparts is a more high class shopping centre with
escalators, lifts and glass everwhere.
 Ipswich  town  is much bigger than Middlesbrough.  The high street is 3
times longer with major stores such as a Virgin Megastore, a big HMV and
W.H.Smith's.   The  best  shop  though is QD which I haven't come across
before.   You  can  kit  your flat out with this store at a really cheap
price.
 Ther are loads of side streets off the town centre leading to all sorts
of  shops.   In York there is a place called "The Shambles".  In Ipswich
it's called "The Walk".

 Still  bored,  I  noticed that everyday on my way to work I was passing
Foxhall  stadium.   This  holds speedway and stockcar racing.  I haven't
been  to speedway since I was about 12.  Me and my dad were into it in a
big  way.   My  dad  even  owned a Rotax Jap speedway bike with dirt and
grass track frames.
 I  gaped at the entrance fee however.  It was 9quid a person to get in!
I  paid it anyway and was glad when the programme was thrown in as well.
Finding a good spot I started talking to a guy who said he's a long-time
fan of Ipswich SGR Witches (the team).  He filled me in on details about
the  team  and  speedway  in  general  since I hadn't been into it for a
while.
 I  always  planned  to  start going again when I had some money but the
Middlesbrough  track  was  sold  and  re-developed and I don't know what
happened to the team.  Any speedway fans out there know?
 I  was  told that Chris Louis was the best rider on the team and one of
the  top  men  in  the country.  I had actually met a top speedway rider
once in Morrisons supermarket on Teesside Park in Stockton.  His name is
Gary  Havelock  in  case  any  of  you  are  into speedway.  He rode for
Bradford  and I think he now works as a speedway presenter on SKY SPORTS
3.

 The  races got under way and I started off on a nostalgia trip with the
smell of the bike smoke and the taste of dirt combined with the smell of
hotdogs  and  chips.  I followed the programme easily enough and started
enjoying  myself and followed the races closely.  Since M'bro don't have
a team anymore I guess Ipswich is mine now since I'm living here.
 The  one  thing that always amazed me as a kid with speedway is the way
the  bikes  work  on  corners  in  that  you turn the wheel in the wrong
direction!  Also these bikes have no brakes!
 The  match  I  watched was Ipswich V Swindon.  It was close all the way
being a draw most of the time.  It came down to the lsast race and Louis
was  in  front as usuall.  His partner in this race was a new kid on the
block  currently  in  3rd.  If he could retain his place we would win on
points.   However  he  had  other  ideas and shot forward after the last
corner  taking  2nd  place!  The crowd went wild and so did the kid!  He
went around the track pulling wheelies and stunts!
 I  bought  a magazine recently (Speedway Star) to try and update myself
on  the  sport  as  things had changed over the last few years.  For one
they  have  this  carpet sweeper on the back of the bikes now to prevent
dirt  being  sprayed  up into the visors of those riding behind you.  If
there  are any speedway fans out there then I'd like you to get in touch
or  at  least  write some articles on the subject for this magazine.  If
anyone  knows what happened to my favourite rider, Steve Wilcox then I'd
appreciate the info.

 Most  of  you  know  I  like  reading  books  with all the "Recommended
Reading"  articles  I've  written for Grapevine and The Word.  So it was
natural  for me to seek out and join the local library.  I was expecting
a small library filled with Mills & Boon books and some dog eared sci-fi
paperbacks.   What  I  wasn't expecting was a fully computerised library
with  mainly  new  books  as well as music and videos.  Even the central
library  is  better  as  it  is all on one level but has more books than
M'bro's  central library.  The books are mostly new.  I even found Harry
Harrison's new Stainless Steel Rat Book "The Stainless Steel Rat Goes To
Hell" among others.  Watch out for another "Recommended Reading" article
from  me!   Ipswich may be an old town from the outside but that doesn't
man  it is on the inside.  You can rent a video for 1.75 and keep it for
a fortnight.  You can get mainstream videos of 6 months old and older to
classical  and  foreign  tapes  as well as sci-fi series from Blake 7 to
Voyager.   Music  wise,  there are tapes and CD's as well as CDROM's for
your home computer.

 It  didn't  take  that  long  to have cable wired up.  I was missing my
satellite  system  so  I  figured  that  cable  would ease my withdrawal
symptoms for a while.
 Cable basically consisted of a set-top box that took it's feed from one
of  3 wall connections.  The other 2 were phone and FM radio.  Cable did
not however have access to my 2 favourite channels, SKY 2 and PARAMOUNT.
Also it was 2 quid more than SKY.  So much for being the cheaper option.
 The  phone on the other hand was much cheaper than BT.  It is only 4.43
a  month  which  is  half  of  BT's line rental charges.  Calls are also
chaeper and you get free services such as Call Waiting, Call Forwarding,
3-way calling and voicemail.

 I'm  starting  to  get  used  to  living  in  Ipswich  now.  It's a lot
different  from  Middlesbrough.  Thecrime levelis a hell of a lot lower.
Most  of the cars here are classics like mine or american.  I've already
said   thatIpswich  is  anold  town.   It  has  a  lot  of  museums  and
nationalheritage  places  as  well as large parks, carnivals and country
pubs.
 I'm  missing  Middlesbrough  and  my  family  and friends but it's nice
having  money  in  your  pocket and your own independence.  I guess that
I'll  also  have  more time to spend on my computers and todothe Word as
long  as I can afford the electric bill with paying for speedway and the
cinema every week.




end